A memory at 4.39 in the mornin'

I love you

I fell in love with the way you read books

And we discussed them at length

Or you would tell me your favourite poem

And why it touches you

You thought and still think the same way I think

We had the same worries but together we still stumbled over the solutions

We didn’t talk about those all the time

Because for the most part we were too busy being happy

But sometimes late at night

It was almost fun to entertain them

It didn’t bore or depress you

Like me, you were just frustrated by it

It was so easy from the beginning

I had no choice but to fall in love with you

And youll remind me now of how I used to be

Covered in fronts, and stuck in cynical stuff

You knew opening up didn’t come easy to me

It took awhile but I was so comfortable in your slight hands

We’ll laugh and smile about the first time we met

In a dark room filled with a din and drunken dancing

We’d been dragged there by our friends

And had gotten drunk to make it bearable!

But spilling that drink on your slim tanned legs was the best thing iv ever done

Soon after you took my bad habits and you broke them in half

And finally allowed me to break those habits

Im so glad that I found you and even happier that I never lost you

We would lie awake and listen to music

We’d each play songs that meant something to each other

We wouldn’t lie when we spoke

And we’d tell each other things that meant something to us

As your light head would rest on my chest

You’d fall asleep and on those hot summer nights your hair would stick to your forehead

And I would watch you

It was everything I wanted

You are everything I ever wanted

We were never 100 percent right for each other

At times we weren’t 80 or even 50 percent right for each other

But nobody and nothing is perfect

Later down the line

I remember being awkward with you for the first time in years

It was like my words were too heavy

And I couldn’t lift them out from the back of my throat but I managed

I hoped that the time was right

On that orange autumn evening

I asked you to marry me in fading amber light

You said a three letter word

And I placed a ring on your finger

It was diamond-less and vintage

Cause that’s the way you would want it

I knew who you were

Months down the line

At a quiet ceremony, on a centre stage

We were bound together by the words and metal rings

We may as well have been bound together at that nightclub three years prior

With our fingers entwined I looked up at the black spires

Outside the church I was completely happy

And I remember our wedding night

We were matches, struck together, lit

It was passion

We’re older now

With kids grown up

They were always a pleasant distraction and we’ve always loved them

We don’t see them as much as we’d like at the moment

We had jobs, and money, but we never let us become something we’re not

We never surrounded ourselves with things

For, without speaking about it, we knew that they were disposable

Rather, we helped people

But not in a self satisfying way

And now wrinkled, looking almost nothing like we used to

I can say you look gorgeous today

Our love still grows and until death do us part, we are one.

….

But I wake up suddenly in this small dark room

That dream drifts slowly out my window to a star filled sky

The clock reads 4.39AM and im alone

I sit back and burst into tears

Im 20 years old and im lost

And I know I need her

But iv not met her yet.